Inconveniently positioned main beam light switches

Ok this maybe a rather specific rant, but picture the scene.

You're on a roundabout, some irritating goit cuts you up, you slam on your breaks, in a spasm of irritation you begin fumbling for the stick that works the lights, but because you're so irked, so incensed, so genuinely pissed off that someone could be so stupid, so thoughtless, so BLOODY ANNOYING, that you can't remember which one of the several sticks operates the lights. You blindly grope for the closest one, hoping to display your irritation at the numbskull who just ticked you off...

Seriously, if I rage wash my windscreen once more, I'm going stop the car, get out, pull the bloody windscreen wipers off and lob them at the offending motorist.

Am I the only one who does this? By the time I've finished rage washing my windscreen and remembered where the lights are, the moment for light flashing has usually passed.

And incidentally, the last time I got cut up on a roundabout (a few days ago) it was by some toffy nosed bitch in a 4x4, what does that tell you, huh??!?

Well, you haven't been driving my car that long. Is the flash on the opposite side of the steering wheel from your car then?

And I must admit my Corsa does have a rather poofy horn.

Dear god, I'm ashamed of using that horn! "Toot toot! Out of the way fellow motorists!" I sound like Mr Toad.

some irritating goit

What's a goit?

cuts you up,

Over here, we call it getting cut off.

but because you're so irked, so incensed, so genuinely pissed off that someone could be so stupid, so thoughtless, so BLOODY ANNOYING, that you can't remember which one of the several sticks operates the lights.

Seriously, if I rage wash my windscreen once more, I'm going stop the car, get out, pull the bloody windscreen wipers off and lob them at the offending motorist.

LMAO!

Another difference between Brit and Yank words. We call a windscreen a windshield.

Am I the only one who does this? By the time I've finished rage washing my windscreen and remembered where the lights are, the moment for light flashing has usually passed.

No, you aren't. Over here, road rage (what you were feeling) is very common in large cities. It's why, after 25 years, i had to get out and move to the country.

And incidentally, the last time I got cut up on a roundabout (a few days ago) it was by some toffy nosed bitch in a 4x4, what does that tell you, huh??!?

What's toffy Nosed? That's funny!

By the way, i made a page years ago called Asshole Drivers. I'll post it here and sticky it.

I'm going to have to get you a dictionary when we're talking

Right, a goit:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=goit

I first heard it on Red Dwarf. You have seen Red Dwarf...right?
Essentially, a twit, pillock, ignoramus, dim wit, fool, oaf, prat, arse, div... no wait, I'm going to end up listing lots of other British slang terms.

No, you aren't. Over here, road rage (what you were feeling) is very common in large cities. It's why, after 25 years, i had to get out and move to the country.

The worrying thing is, I DO live in the country.

As for Toffy nosed,

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/toffee-nosed.html

Posh and stuck up, also: people who drive 4x4s! wuhahaha

lol, we are most certainly two countries divided by a common language.

BecMacFeegle wrote:I'm going to have to get you a dictionary when we're talking

Right, a goit:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=goit

Seriously, i've heard many slang words from Britain and that's one that's new to me. I'm going to have to keep a dictionary handy when debating in case you slip a sly one in on me.

BecMacFeegle wrote:I first heard it on Red Dwarf. You have seen Red Dwarf...right?
Essentially, a twit, pillock, ignoramus, dim wit, fool, oaf, prat, arse, div... no wait, I'm going to end up listing lots of other British slang terms.

Nope. Never even heard of Red Dwarf.

Ignoramus is one we use here a lot.

BecMacFeegle wrote:

No, you aren't. Over here, road rage (what you were feeling) is very common in large cities. It's why, after 25 years, i had to get out and move to the country.

The worrying thing is, I DO live in the country.

As for Toffy nosed,

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/toffee-nosed.html

Posh and stuck up, also: people who drive 4x4s! wuhahaha

Uh oh. You might have to go to an Anger Management program.

The_Amber_Spyglass wrote:lol, we are most certainly two countries divided by a common language.

Hilarious, isn't it? It's like the word lovely that you guys use. We never use that here. I think what would be considered a valid substitute would pretty when, for instance, describing a sound (song) as lovely. Or if describing a person, sexy.

Bollocks! is another one i laugh at. To me, that would be like saying, Bullshit!

On the road, compared to Matt, I am a [censored] cat. He's the one with the road rage issues

What the...you censored out [censored]?! I can say fuck and twat and arse and bollocks but I can't say [censored]? What type of fucked up system of censoring is that? And a [censored] is a cat gods damn it!

BecMacFeegle wrote:On the road, compared to Matt, I am a [censored] cat. He's the one with the road rage issues

Bloody cheek! I just hate eejits.

The censoring is worse at SP. Former US Vice President [censored] Cheney was the most ridiculous I ever came across over there.

BecMacFeegle wrote:What the...you censored out [censored]?! I can say fuck and twat and arse and bollocks but I can't say [censored]? What type of fucked up system of censoring is that? And a [censored] is a cat gods damn it!

Uh oh. That was set up when i first started this place back in February.

Lemme [censored] go [censored] fix that [censored] thing.

I [censored] fixed that [censored] censoring shit. Now it's nice as a pussy cat.

The_Amber_Spyglass wrote:

BecMacFeegle wrote:On the road, compared to Matt, I am a [censored] cat. He's the one with the road rage issues

Bloody cheek! I just hate eejits.

The censoring is worse at SP. Former US Vice President [censored] Cheney was the most ridiculous I ever came across over there.

Yeah, it was pretty bad when i had to use D!ck Morris when i posted his columns.

This is the best thread ever!

dblboggie wrote:This is the best thread ever!

Might even be sticky material. Then i can have Bec maintain this thread on a weekly basis.

TexasBlue wrote:

dblboggie wrote:This is the best thread ever!

Might even be sticky material. Then i can have Bec maintain this thread on a weekly basis.

Not a bad idea... that opening rant was hysterical... "rage wash my windscreen..." classic stuff!

Bec's rant of the week? It has legs. Actually it has wheels. Actually it's probably a 4x4 being driven by a toffy nosed bint with an attitude problem.

I promise not to rant about guns
Wuhahahahaaa

What's a bint?

I think it's a great idea. You clearly have a talent for it... I thought that opening bit was brilliant...

A bint is well, it's like a wench I suppose. Slang term for a woman.

And thank you dblboggie, it's very nice of you to say so. I have a talent for ranting...hmm...

That's why i created the Vent section. I knew you were coming.

It's like therapy. I have a lot of frustration I need to get out

BecMacFeegle wrote:A bint is well, it's like a wench I suppose. Slang term for a woman.

And thank you dblboggie, it's very nice of you to say so. I have a talent for ranting...hmm...

Oops... I should have noted that it is your wonderful turn of phrase and humorous word images that make your "rants" so entertaining... honest...